Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
