Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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