Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
