we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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