so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
