Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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