They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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