His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
