To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What a dumb baby whore.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
