i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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