well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
