ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
