Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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