So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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