um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
