Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
