question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
