I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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