you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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