Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
