I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
