my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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