My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
