I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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