now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
