Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
well I can't set my house on fire every night
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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