I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
