just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
