i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
