I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
