Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
