I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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