i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
