im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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