I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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