I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
