Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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