He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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