Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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