How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
