He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
