I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
