Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
