Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We are all done wearing pants today
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
