what if every blade of grass was a penis?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
