Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
