Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
