PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Damn victory sex feels great
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
