I'm jealous of your bromance
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
