Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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